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chocobarman in wvba_lockerroom

Hippo Island Invasion [Closed]

((OOC: The mayhem starts at 12!  That's in 2 hours, Mac Baby! A post will appear for arrivals at the airport, and we'll go from there. Everyone will be split into 3 teams, one thread for each team. We'll coordinate over AIM as needed! Fight like a weasel!))

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[Arrival]

Hippo Island Airport is much like every other airport on smallish islands. Small, but still reasonably airport-like. Busy travelers and tourists visit the island. King Hippo is no fool; even deranged with Tyranny, he sees the merits of having a thriving tourist and business trade (to support his insane war machinations).

One tourist looks bored. Greying hair, panama hat, sunglasses, lei, and a Haiwaiian shirt with a definite sunset motif. He's staring at his watch, glancing at his ticket, and grumbling. He has a large piece of what looks to be carry-on luggage with him. It seems almost too large, too rugged, too full of stuff. To almost everyone, he looks like a bored tourist, waiting to leave. To the boxers of the WVBA, he is instantly recognizable.

He is the Referee. And he is not happy to be here. He is waiting for the other boxers to show up. There is a row of empty airline waiting seats nearby.


(OOC: Boxers, there's your cue. Wear as much or as little disguise as you want. Once most people check in, we'll move things along.)

Re: [Arrival]

A rather imposing-looking man, wearing a fedora and a somewhat obvious toupee, steps up to one of the seats with a small rolling case behind him and sits down. He takes a bottle of water out of the case, unscrews the lid, and has a drink. After looking around a bit, the perfectly disguised Bald Bull whispers something to the referee.

"Do you think anyone is going to notice us yet?"

Re: [Arrival]

The second arrival, a well-dressed Japanese man, is wearing a business suit and sunglasses, trying his best to not look suspicious as he lugs his own rather thick briefcase with him. It is Piston Hondo, cleverly disguised as a businessman. He sits down a few seats away from the first boxer to arrive to help make the two less conspicuous-looking..

"Seems I am a bit earlier than expected."

Re: [Arrival]

Hey, dudes!

Super Macho Man is incredibly bad at stealth anything, but thankfully his normal wear--loud Hawaiian shirt, gold chain (with an additional lei) and swim trunks--looks exactly like what's expected of a Hippo Island tourist anyway. He follows the group, then remembers that he's supposed to be at least slightly on the down-low.

Uh, I mean...hey dudes. How's it goin'? *whispers to the Ref* So, uh, when's the skull-crackin' gonna start? You got some machine guns in that bag o'yours?

Re: [Arrival]

A loud ruckus is heard in the crowd of tourists inside the airport. the crowd splits to reveal a old french man barging through, shouting loudly and waving a cane around. he is carrying a small bag which has a strange rectangular lump stuffed in it, for some strange reason.
sadly, apart from some sunglasses to protect him from "non-french" sunrays, Gabby Jay is not disguised.

"Out of the way! Out of the way! Freedom fighter coming through! no time to waste! Come on, come on, stop wasting my time!"
he walks to the ref and bald Bull, whacks them both on the head with a cry of "move it!", and barges through them. he stops for a minuite.
"Mon Diu... where are those morons? If a frenchman was in charge of this operation, we wouldn't have this dilly-dallying..."

[He's the van man]

*The Referee stares at the assembled boxers, annoyed look on his face.*

This is a stupid plan, and I hate being here. The WVBA is not in the business of regime changes or spreading democracy. We're a Boxing league. But, Doc Louis has once again talked you into a stupid plan, and has once again talked me into delivering your equipemnt and instructions because I owe him a favor, and he forgot to plan this far ahead.

Your ride is a van in the lot. Your driver is a sympathetic local. I have instructed him to hold up a sign that fits your descriptions. He will take you as far as is safe. As for the rest of you who haven't shown up, we've got a few more locals and vans sympathetic to your cause. They'll help the others regroup.

*He kicks his carry-on luggage.* Your equipment is in here. Maps, headsets, rations, and assorted gear. I think Louis even backed breadcrumbs to leave a trail for the other. I swear, that guy is crazier than the rest of you.

If you'll excuse me, I have a flight to catch, and some antacid tablets to take.

*He stalks off, and you get the feeling he is very disappointed in all of you. The local driver is waiting outside, holding the sign (it is marked "Deranged People"), and behind him is a van for everyone to pile into.*

Re: [He's the van man]

Yeah, but we're Americans too, dude! At least some of us. *calls after him* And regime changes and spreadin' democracy all over the place is what we do best!

*grabs his luggage and grumbles, heading toward the fan* (Hope there'll be enough room for my massive muscles in here...don't wanna be crowded up next to that French creep.

[Destination: House of Hippo]

*The van engines rumble to life, and begin driving through the twisty and turny roads of Hippo Island. The vans don't have windows (because you all look like a suspicious clandestine foreign agent group) but outside the noises of marching and dreariness can be heard. The vans will drive to-and-from the House of Hippo to pick up other boxers who arrive.*

*The bag continues to rant.* Hey Mac Baby, this ain't funny. Where are you? *An islander in the passenger seat at the front unzips the equipment bag. It's full of communicators, chocolate bars, crudle drawn maps, bags of breadcrumbs, towels, and other assorted knickknacks. He grabs one of the headsets and plugs it into the speaker system.* "You're live, Louis."

"Good. You'll be at the House of Hippo in a few moments. There's a small valley near the back where we've hidden a couple vans for planning purposes. Grab some gear and get ready."

"I've divided up the initial teams. Bull, Hugger, and Hondo will be the first on team Sneaky. Your mission is to break into the place covertly, try not to get caught, and see if you can knock out their security systems and free prisoners. Whenever Hippo goes crazy, he takes prisoners."

"Jay, Macho, and anyone else feeling loud get duty on team Noisy. Your job is too distr- dismantle King Hippo's army, one guy at a time. Go nuts."

"I'll add more people as needed to the other teams, including Team C. We'll arrive soon, so get some rest."

Re: [Destination: House of Hippo]

"Hmmm. If we have to break in, then we will need to know how this house is set up."

Bull retrieves one of the maps, and reads it - and he immediately notices some rather smudged, written directions on the layout that seem to be obscuring vital parts of the map.

"This is no good... much of this map is written over or just covered in..."

Bull pauses. A familiar, sweet smell is wafting from the 'ink' used to write the instructions. He almost immediately recognizes it, and growls.

"Is this written in chocolate?!"

Bull puts a palm to his forehead in frustration, pushing up the toupee and hat a bit, as he passes the map off. After a few moments to collect himself, he tries to read another one.

Re: [Destination: House of Hippo]

I have to go with the stupid american? Zuut alors, monsouir Louis must be joking! even if Macho moron wouldn't know the meaning of stealth if it beat him to death with a basebsll bat, is it really a good idea to pair him with me? I'll end up having to babysit him!

and putting Bull and Bear on the sneaky team? those two couldn't trusted to be quiet for ten seconds! what if the natives have syrup? what if someone sets Bull's temper off?

(puts head into hands) oh, mon dieu. There's going to be a disaster, and I'm going to have to clean it up!

[Team Noisy]

*After arrival, the teams split up. Outside in the valley, there's a clear path towards the main entrance of the House of Hippo. It's a very large structure made of island trees. There are torches outside, many trees, and what look to be a whole lot of guards. Go nuts.*

*Doc Louis' ever constant voice beams in from the headsets.* "Alright Team Noisy, there's the house. Now go make some noise. Take those suckas down. If you can get past the main entrance, there's a couple of rooms and hallways between you and the throne room. Let's see what you guys have got. Islanders will lay down suppressing fire of coconuts until you get inside, and then you're on your own."

Re: [Team Noisy]

they attack with coconuts? Cowards! real men fight with fists!
(taps the wastepaper basket he's still wearing.) good thing I managned to "borrow" this from my doctor! I shall be invinceable!

Re: [Team Noisy]

*thup thup thup thup thup*

It's a bird! It's a plane! Close, it's Super Macho Man's helicopter! He seems to pull it out for any occasion, and he jumps down off of the ladder and rushes the guards in a spinning typhoon of grade-A American fists!

Outta my way, Frenchie! These dudes are mine! YEAAAHHHRRGG! *lets out one of his Super Macho Screams as he spinning punches his way towards the House of Hippo. He manages to deflect a couple coconuts with his fist, and a few with his forehead, but manages not to waver. Too much.*

[Team Sneaky]

*After arrival, the teams split up. Outside in the valley, there's a shrouded path towards the back entrance of the House of Hippo. This place has a considerable loading dock for food, surprising no one. That's where you guys come in.*

*Doc Louis' ever constant voice beams in from the headsets.* "Alright Team Sneaky, there's the loading dock. Get past and dismantle as much of the kitchens as possible. If even a single roast is overdone, it's a moral victory. Try not to get caught though. Beyond there is the labyrinthine palace full of weird rooms between you and the throne room. Try to find the dungeons and release any captives, they'll be helpful in taking down Hippo. And if you see anything really strange going on, try to check it out. We need to find out why King Hippo went nuts again."

Re: [Team Sneaky]

Hondo, upon arriving at the loading dock, quickly gets to work, not speaking a word as he approaches the kitchens without a sound.

He was about to go off and sabotage the kitchen as planned, but he stopped himself.


"This is too easy. There has to be some guards. Some sort of protection. Hippo-san would never leave the loading dock unprotected like this."

Hondo's eyes narrow.

"It has to be a trap."

[Team C]

*After arrival, the teams split up. Outside in the valley, there's a shrouded path towards the underground enterance of House of Hippo. It is circular and made of metal. It leads to the sewers, the third and most terrifying entrance.*

*Doc Louis' ever constant voice beams in from the headsets.* "Alright Team C, there's the the sewer entrance. Get in there and... uhh... punch some Hippos. The sewers are a labyrinth of... everything King Hippo's eaten in the last couple years that he couldn't digest. Try to find a way into the throne room, there should be a bathroom not to far from it so you might have a chance at breaking in. We haven't tried this before. There probably aren't any guards, unless they have no sense of smell. You have fun with that."

Re: [Team C]

(points and laughs at Aran)
Oui, good luck with that, Aran! enjoy your time in the sewer, where you belong! (luaghs some more)

[Throne Room]

*Team Noisy and Team Sneaky arrive at the throne room at roughly the same time. Some through the main entrance, yet another from King Hippo's personal bathroom to the east. Team Sneaky apparently hasn't made it too far past the kitchens, not to the dungeons, or any sort of actual trap.*

*The Throne Room of King Hippo is a giant stonework chamber, opulently decorated with the finest wood and pearl ornaments. There are torches, tapestries, a massive and empty throne before a large table of food, and a small but organized troop of King Hippo's royal guards. Above the throne is a large stone balcony, which has a stone stairway leading to the top on either side.*

*A voice booms from the balcony above the throne*


"So! You dare to fight me in my own domain. Breaking into my palace, attacking my guards, setting fires, and doing gods know what to my kitchens. I'm going to punch each of you until you fall, and then stand you up again just so I can punch you in the face some more. I'll send you back to Doc Louis wrapped in bows and bruises, and then I'm coming after him."

(Translator's Note: Actually, the translator is missing. Perhaps in the dungeons? It seems King Hippo has no need of him anymore... he spoke the previous in perfect English.)

*King Hippo snarls, wearing a cape, larger than normal crown, and a mean disposition. He gestures menacingly toward the boxers, and his guards rush toward the them. King Hippo himself starts throwing barrels from his balcony, at the boxers!*

Re: [Throne Room]

*Super Macho Man bursts into the room triumphantly, striking a pose before the upgraded King Hippo* Oh yeah! You're goin' down for the count, dude! This'll teach you to mess with AMERICA! *in a flash, he throws off his island hopping gear, clad only in his speedo and boots.*

Hmm...barrels, huh? What is this, some kinda game?! This isn't funny, dude--ooofff! *tries to shake his fist at Hippo and tumbles backwards as he gets hit by a barrel*

Re: [Throne Room]

Disguised Bull arrives in the throne room, muttering something about smudged-over maps. As he enters and takes view of King Hippo, he realizes that he probably doesn't need his cunning disguise any more - thus, he reaches up, plucks the toupee out from under his hat, and tosses it away. No sooner does he do this than he is hit by a stray barrel to the chest! He grunts loudly and his hat falls off as he takes the hit and catches the barrel, but despite being somewhat winded by the surprise hit, he is able to stay standing and put the barrel aside.

"Kah... it seems the fight has already started - and here I was hoping to keep the hat as a souvenir. ...Well, then!"

Bald Bull fetches out his boxing gloves, straps them on, laces them up, and immediately delivers a powerful hook to the next barrel that was about to hit him. He shouts at Hippo, lapsing into his own native language as he does so.

["I WILL TEAR YOU FROM YOUR PERCH!"]

Re: [Throne Room]

(Gabby has finally woken up from his concussion.)
FALCON PUNCH... wait, where did the king and his infinite army of pineapple men go? (gets up and looks around) curses! it was all a dream! that stupid american didn't listen to me and let the gaurds take me by suprise! all so he could come in his stupid helicopter...
(he gulps down his medication, then strolls into the palace. with sercuity distracted by the madness in the throne room, Gabby can walk to the throne room in peace.) I should have guessed that it was a dream fron the moment I used a butterfinger... I would never touch the things with my bare hands...
(upon entering the throne room, Gabby stops to blink at the chaos. he notices Macho man in the corner, punching bad guys.) Oh, so NOW you distract the gaurds! Thanks for nothing, Macho moron!
(spots Hippo throwing barrels) Drat! I'm far to old to jump over barrels! that coward won't let anyone get to him!
(he spots the thrown barrels have come to a stop in the corner. he walks over to them. the gaurds don't see Gabby as much of a threat at the moment, so they leave him be... for now. he pulls at one of the barrels lids.) What are in these things, anyway?

Oh, you asked for it now, man...

*Super Macho Man isn't messing around. This has been going on for long enough, and it's gotta end now. As Hippo puts the bottle back in a pocket of his shorts, Macho zones in on it! His vision zooms in...it goes all inverted-colors...there's the dubbed-over sound of a heartbeat...

This is it, dude...for Hippo Island...for the WVBA...

And for America!!

*And Super Macho Man rears back, strikes a pose, and launches a Super Spinning Punch right into Hippo's back pocket! It's a Super Spinning Punch to end all Super Spinning Punches! It even causes a shockwave that shatters the rest of the glass bottles on Hippo's person, sending the radioactive liquid shooting all over the place! Call in the Ref--this bout is OVER!*

Re: Oh, you asked for it now, man...

"You? You're not American! You're not even wearing a flag on your h-"

*CRUNCH*

*Macho's Super Spinning Punch connects! The shockwave destroys the bottle, and the radioactive soda is knocked out of his crown, where the other two bottles were hiding. Hippo stands there, stunned.*


"No! My soda bottle! The power, oh, the power... gone... grarg... but... my plans... gwargle.... gomp."

*He slumps down and sits on the ground, depressed looking, sheepishly scratching his head.*

"Harglar gomp brarrg."

(Translator's Note: Well, I certainly made a hash of this, didn't I?)

*The translator stands with a large group of Hippo Islanders who freed him from the dungeon during the fight. He walks to stand by his diminished monarch.*

"Harrglarb. Gomp Gomp."

(Translator's Note: I never want to see another one of those bottles again. All policies enacted on Hippo Island within the past month are rescinded and reversed. Apologies to one and all. I will make amends.)

*King Hippo stands, nods to his fellow boxers, and stalks off. He has a nation to rebuild and a people's trust to re-earn.*
World Circuit

August 2009

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